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Erikson stated that ego makes positive contributions toward growth through mastering attitudes and skills. This must occur at each stage of an eight stage development. Once each stage is mastered, the person continues developing through the eight stages into a successful, contributing member of society.
My German parents and older siblings didn’t trust in developmental stages as much as instilling in me my share of the farm-life work load and responsibilities. Since I was the youngest of nine children, all family members were supportive of not having a spoiled youngest sibling adding to their responsibilities. So, I became very successful at adapting to my circumstances and was given opportunity to learn about chores at an early stage. We moved to The Hill when I was five years old. The rural farm where I grew up did not provide a glamorous, easy life nor a sitcom version of farm life regarding work or family or nature. But it was a life I grew to appreciate; and I understood and valued farm life more than I desired fame or wealth. Why? Because it was real. The farm taught me about a mother’s love of her newborn baby, seasonal changes, adaptation, life and death, and the need to work hard to survive. I loved my farm world and all the opportunities it provided. I utilized every occasion to obtain a lesson on family, survival, living and dying, and God.
During what Erikson defines as the intimacy vs. isolation stage, I experienced a series of traumatic events. It was definitely the most difficult transition stage for me. I married my boyfriend the summer between my sophomore and junior year of college. And while a passenger in my new husband’s car, I was involved in a fatal automobile accident. I broke my back in three places. After six weeks of ‘resting’, I returned to college in a back brace and later graduated from college with honors. I attempted to settle into a lifestyle of service to God, family, and accepted a career as a teacher. However, after eight years within a fractured marriage, my daughter’s father and I divorced, and he married one of my graduated students. During the divorce period, I experienced major health issues regarding my spine and the potential diagnosis of ovarian cancer, and I became a single mother to my beautiful three year old daughter. I viewed life as strenuous.
Later in life, I remarried and gave birth to a beautiful son. I decided to utilize my lessons from the farm, my personal traumas, and my educational experience and combined them in my pursuit to study counseling. I became a high school counselor and worked with students, their families, and within the community. After 33 years of marriage and eight moves later, I felt my purpose and creativity shifting; I retired from high school counseling. Encouraged by my loving spouse, I studied military resilience counseling through Liberty University and received my certification. Throughout the years people suggested I become a writer to inspire and instruct young adults and hurting people. And after writing several short stories, I have decided to share my experiences through blogging.
As you navigate through this website, you will conclude my desire to compose these messages is for people to understand that a happy life is not created from selfish desires. And so, in hopes of making a difference in one person’s life, I will endeavor to create a Counselor’s Corner.